Sunday, October 21, 2007
just some after thoughts....
people used to say, I am silly to do silly things.. I'm easily deceived by anything and i'm very naive.. I'm too nice and definitely far too nice to my best friend (=p) i guess it's just me... i just want everyone to be happy.. I'll do anything to make them happy.. Even if i can't? i'll still try my best.. Haha fancy me reminiscing the past... come to think of it.. i think 13-15yrs old of life was probably the best time of my life.. I had friends i never had before and they still are my friends after 3?4? years??? Usually nothing lasts longer than 1 year or 8 months to be exact. Somehow i just feel an urge to thank all my friends for being with me all this while.. during the fun/happy times & the times where i'm just sad and everything & also when i'm sick and in great pain.. I still remember someone was woken up by me around 1+??? because i felt like i was gonna die.. haha... =p....
Perhaps i'll never forget these memories.. the times where i don't know why.. life was so "green" and everything wouldn't taste nice without vinegar. Ha! Foolish me, to think so foolishly.. No wonder i'm always so nice =p.. Yet i'm so glad that I have friends to protect me and advice me against being bullied or taken advantage of.. Why am i writing these?? i totally dunno.. but it makes me just so happy yet i'm tearing away.. haha..
I also remembered my 1st time making a friend that requires lots of trust and hopefully will last.. of cos it did (i think =p).. I remembered when I just didn't know what to say and i was too scared to say anything ( cos i've nvr done this b4 and i'm supposedly a loner ) i ended up saying something rather off course yet you kinda understood what i meant.. Haa!! lucky me.. =p.. There was also the times when I thought I was ignored and I did silly things to prove I am.. and i would cry away on the phone thinking I really must be so horrible that i'm being ignored by my friend..
To me best fren, haha i dunno if you would still remember the long process of emptying my "bottles" of sadness in the middle of the night where I'm too tired to be afraid to say anything or too tired to think thus blurt everything out at nic's house.. It's still not fair... You've been helping me all this while and i barely got chances to help you back =p... even though being your part time butler was temporary but i doubt that filled up what u did for me.. it's like soooooo much that i probably owe u a billion favours.. =p And you also kept me at your place when I ran away from home for that erm.. 4 days?? =p
To nic, if u actually read me blog in e 1st place.. Thanks for everything these 3-4years... All the kind hospitality of letting me host stayovers at your place and parties at your place (even though they all had an interior motive Hahahaha).. And you've also paid for almost everything i wanted.. LAN,Arcade,Food,Etc etc... And definitely all the taxis!! =p.... not to worry.. i'll save up and one day.. one day i'll bring you somewhere nice and we can have a fantastic meal. =)
To Xueqi, haha I really dunno how to say this but thanks for everything you did.. You were there for me when no one else could.. you didn't feel like i was using you but this is all because we're friends and friends are always there for each other.. Not to worry.. if anything goes wrong i'll be there for you also!! =) haha.. i'm so crazy now i wish there was someone to talk to on MSN to talk about this craziness..haha.. Jia You o..
So i guess you 3 are the greatest people in my life already.. No one ever made me feel so happy being here right now before.. Ok so maybe I tried being not a part time butler anymore or i tried not being so friendly/nice anymore but well... i think thats dumb.. i should do what makes me happy to make my friends happy too =) so don't mind me if i go back to how things used to look like.. i like it that way.. life was so much more fun and easier.. =) of course please don't make me feel like an idiot saying all these and for trying to be who i used to be =p.. your encouragement would be the best thing i wanna hear right now =p... I am a Charming Guy recovering from an eternity of loneliness and sadness and pain. =)
hmmmm come to think of it... i don't know how to put sam as.. =p... friend??? teacher???? hes like both so it's like sooooo hard to... ya... nvm i dunno what to say. =p.... but well it's great, he cares for us, worries about how we're improving after lesson is taught, thinks about our studies, encourages us, and had the fun crazy times with us, and not to forget all the lovely nice treats/discounts he gave us when he brought us out to eat.. =p...
You know what?? I'm sooo looking forward to seeing everybody again after O levels... Screw isolation, screw loneliness.. it doesn't belong in me.. Like someone always said.. We're humans and humans were meant to interact with each other.. =p.. not to worry i'll never forget anything u said to me.. fact is i still remember everything you said to me since i was 13 =p.. haaaa.... dunno why but they are easier to remember than 9X9...
I guess this might be the moment my friends have been waiting for.. the time where i'm all smiles again.. and probably their wish is that this isn't going to last for 1-2 days only but hopefully forever =p... or at least thats what i hope to think it is.. (if not i fail as friend liao, cannot read mind or foresight them =p)
"without fail, the horse carriage will turn into a pumpkin at midnight"
"Family settings like "Daddy" and "Mommy"...must the lord's magic spell to prevent our(a group of friends) current relationship from breaking up."
"But...someday...there's a possibility it'll turn back into a yucky pumpkin..."
Kaoru Hitachin
Posted by wJ at 11:05 PM