Wednesday, November 14, 2007
can't rmb exactly everything that happened last nite but i do remember having that little bit of fun.. didn't win the lucky draw though... its so true that those who win are hated by everyone else... the immense force of envy an jealousy over 1 simple lucky draw... would people actually resort to cheating?? ok so i didn't look my best yesterday unlike majority of everyone walking in suites and tuxs.. i just tried to be middle artistic so wore something more simple instead, after all whos ever going to beat those who are naturally born with a silver spoon (rich family)..
I guess my life in ACS i figured this at Barker Road.. the school is split into 4 categories.. The Rich, The Cool, The Intelligent and The Average.. of cause just as it is labelled the Average it lives to its name.. all the students who come from average backgrounds with average academics are those basically thrown out of cliques or the left out or the bullied after all these people come no where near the imaginary hierachy constructed... The Rich of cos are always the more popular ones, who wouldn't want to associate themselves with the rich and hopefully reap the benefits from this friendship.. The Cool is probably one of the hardest category to fit in, it literally knows no boundaries in doing so, it has no real requirements to be cool. you're just it if you're it.. you can't be one by trying nor will you be accepted as one if you copy.. The Intelligent are mostly categorised along side with either the Rich or the Cool.. It seems to be a trait that forms a vicious cycle with the other.. with exception of Cool.. The average are probably people like me, not famous (probably even infamous), not cool, the anti-social (or simple just thrown out of society to begin with).. It makes such people close to impossible to actually try and blend with the other Cats thus only some will survive and form their own clique of probably a mixture of different people.
ACS Barker Road probably brought me the joys of my life and the biggest miseries of my life.. It gave me the Full Package as it promised.. Touch Lives, Enrich Souls, Empower Minds. The other promises like friends and fun were also present.. Even so there was still much unhappiness within the school but things either work out or don't.. Will i miss the school?? perhaps.. will i miss going back to class with my classmates? most probably.. will i miss having the fun times we had during recess laughing and joking with one another?? definitely..
Anyways, today.... started on something big like "working" for my teacher, looks like hard work (in fact probably is) but i guess its something i can do to help myself..
To an extent i can say i learnt a lot of things because of this.. I learnt about the society and probably a glimpse of what is really happening outside our little safety corners..
Today's a bad day i suppose.. it seems like the usual that i have "provoked" the people around me mysteriously so... well nothing changes does it.. I just being my normal self will absorb all the blame be it my fault or not just to prevent conflict.. why do i do this to myself all the time? do i deserve this? perhaps i do.. will anyone ever know wads it like to try to be the nice person and then be told to be the asshole of the year becos u heard it from someone else? I don't know what i really want to do/say/feel anymore... Is my existence actually worth anything?? i guess it does somedays and somedays i'm just a ghost...
a typical life of a lost person lost in a world he doesn't recognise..
Posted by wJ at 11:22 PM