Tuesday, January 29, 2008
ii....
feeling everything right now.. the phases pass and start.. it all started with the phase of confusion.. followed by acceptance and joy and happiness.. then came the phase of reality.. which was covered by lies, sick mind games, mistakes. then after the phase of loss... emptiness, sadness, bitterness... then came the phase of chance.. and then the phase of letting go.. in life i guess we all have to let go of things sooner or later.. nothing can be yours forever unless it was meant to be.. i may sit and pout and do whatever but it won't change the circumstances now.. its over.. when will i stop lying to myself and stop having the word Chance running through me. can't believe i actually fell for this.. but it hurts so much on the inside.. i just want to drown myself.. every moment i feel this feeling.. i try to ignore it but that seems impossible.. like i said.. i'm stupid to chase after nothing..
hating can't remove the things you want removed.. nor wishing giving u what you want.. i keep telling myself to let go but i can't.. i never imagined such a future.. haha guess my birthday wish came true in a way.. just to bring me back the equal amount of pain for joy.. i walk around sighing like everything is going to be over.. just glad i'm going Taiwan soon.. i don't want to stay longer to know that i can contact those i don't want to contact yet want to contact but makes me regret after contacting... how silly.. but by all i still must remove myself from the picture soon.. i don't want to linger on because of a past.. may the future bring me better joy..
Sorry and all the best.. wish you happiness.. take care
Posted by wJ at 12:51 AM