Wednesday, May 21, 2008
arghhh.. why must i know... now i know a few more things that supposedly can make me hyper yet broke.. sigh.... and i thought i already gave up haha...
NO.. i shall not think too much.. a few hours time having lesson.. i shall try and not be distracted... sigh.. must do well or AT LEAST i must produce the basics tomorrow.. if my basics are screwed.. man... i'm screwed.. ah well.. my own fault for skipping lessons.. but i don't think it'll be that bad.. i looked into my sound and stuff today.. thought it should be okay now.. more or less something ideal in a way..
i've broken up parts of the song to slowly memorize and compare with the video.. haa..
I wish myself all the best for Lesson.. although i'm still rather afraid i'm going to like go there panic and do everything wrong.. and get scolded real badly.. cos this is not the least i can do.. and it just clearly shows i never put in my best effort.. and it just looks down on me.. that i'm still like this.. after so many events that occured due to this habbit.. then i disappoint me peers again.. then i get sad/depressed.. i start going extreme.. i start isolating.. i start doing stupid things... then the whole process repeats.. like a cycle.. a Vicious Cycle..
I shall aim... in order to achieve these aims i must 1st complete whatever that has to be done 1st and get the priorities right.. all the best to my new sense of hardwork... ha... hope its good and stays good and i STAY on the RIGHT TRACK.... i factually don't want to lose and am scared of losing.. yet the 1st thing that has already happened is that i'm already losing to myself.. ha Irony!!!.. am i sane?? i'm kinda like talking to myself now.. and spinning questions at myself and answering them myself.. O_O... must be the fatigue setting in..
Sign OFF =)
Posted by wJ at 11:55 PM