Thursday, July 10, 2008
wow geez.. ok what a week..
felt a feeling i've never felt for very long.. a sense of defeat.. a sense or real urgency.. after class thoughts just swept my mind.. as i felt as if it was raining soon.. the clouds were welling up.. but i held back.. hold my own hand.. told myself.. "Do you now know whats missing from now and then?".. only then.. i just regretted letting all the good chances go away because i wanted to have something called fun which i don't ever seem to get enough of. A lesson learnt, never EVER not be serious with anything i do.. i might only have only 1 go at it.. if i screw it.. its gone and it might never be repairable.. i wan to thank XueQi who has been helping me out really a lot a lot a lot.. too many a lots.. i think the whole post will be just filled with a lot.. thank you..
Although i felt rather siphoned.. i decided that why should i continue to feel siphoned when i already have for like how many years over different things.. am i not like "gelard" over eating this feeling as my main course for every meal every day? its time to stop doing yakking and get some real work done.. after all i got dreams and challenges i want to achieve.. perhaps dreams won't be too easy.. but challenges are my step 1 that i want to overcome..
well.. amazed... i overshot the bus stop to Central Library... and well step one to overcoming self flaws? i decided to walk back from Bugis MRT (all e way in e front) to the Library.. well felt happy that i did it.. ha (no i'm not pathetic).. borrowed 2 books... rather interesting.. in fact to make better use of my mind and WANT to LEARN something.. i've decided to work my way through the book the old academic Literature way.. and guess what.. i'm having fun... haha..
today well spent half the day at my Uncle's place in memory of his wife 2nd death anniversary.. sadly i'm not exactly very very close to them but i guess being part of it is also a good thing.. well.. as usual.. i talk with my aunts and uncles but i don't get along with their kids.. who are my relatives who are older than me.. but i'm in a way older than them.. because i'm their uncle.. -_- .. god.. must this keep reoccurring? haha.. i'm not that OOLLLDD.. i just lack some youthful spirit.. haha..
got home.. did my chores.. and went to sleep.. didn't sleep well yesterday at all.. i practically slept at 3.30am and woke at 7? due to an abrupt knocking which made me think i'm in a battlefield and i'm in those dugged paths with sandbags above and machineguns firing.. man... its a racket. well yes.. i fell asleep...
Dream number 1.. SCARY... a living nightmare.. i saw myself in those kind of typical giant large offices with many walls seperating the employees like cubicles.. and there i am..!!!! SITTING THERE from 8am-6pm EVERYDAY typing stuffs and doing stuffs.. OMG!!.. i cannot continue to see myself live in hell.. of cos why would i stay in that office? hmm...
Number 2... funny.. i was managing an event because a client approached me and requested i'd help him out with this Arts Event he intends to host... and then we go through the discussions of how things shall be working and etc etc etc.. cool... b4 hand work experience.. haha (though i barely rmb what was the content i just rmb the images)
of cos next was so shocking i sat up immediately awake b4 falling back to slumber..
i was asked to dine... hmm.. i haven't given a reply.. what should i say.. yes?... but i don' really feel like it... no? then i'm not a very nice person am i?.. but i really got important matters to take care of.. at least now i know how insanely important they are to me now.. so.. lemme think about it.. no hurry.. its next week.. i'll see how things are progressing and i'll think about it..
don't be so quick to shove off something when you haven't tried it yet.. take a bite, you might just end up addicted~ .. =)
Posted by wJ at 11:57 PM