Sunday, August 3, 2008

RATED M17...  I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER WHAT YOU WANT TO READ BUT JUST A WARNING!! EXPLICIT WORDS CAN BE SEEN OR EXPRESSED IN THIS POST.. READERS WHO WILL EXPERIENCE DISORIENTATION ARE ASKED TO KINDLY VISIT AGAIN ANOTHER TIME WHEN THERE IS A NEW POST.. 

no comment.. feeling rather much ... down lately.. probably because of the chain of events since that day.. 

was on the bus earlier.. went through Geylang.. felt so.. in a way disturbed and unclean.. then a question came to me.. is a penal desire that strong to drive people to such extents? i just... nevermind... i can't comment much on this.. like they say 男人都不是好东西.. excluding myself and some others.. (=  

plugged in to the iPod and guess i shouldn't have but i needed to cut myself away from my environment.. the worst part was i was tearing on the bus.. i cannot explain why but i just did.. ok i was thinking of someone.. and i have been since that day.. it just made me feel rather sad to know that 2 people who understood the pain they experienced before got together and the final result they created another pain for themselves.. i become filled with regret.. a strong sense of regret. made me remember everything that happened.. all the promises we made.. and all the things i should have done.. I should have went for the TJ recital.. i should have went to find that person.. i should have shown better support.. i should have considered the feelings then.. i should have cared a little bit more.. i shouldn't have said those things.. i shouldn't have left that silence.. i shouldn't have let that person feel that way because i said those things.. i should have apologized and tried to patch things together.. i shouldn't have been so petty over it.. i should have remembered my promise... i shouldn't have let my anger and rash behavior take over the situation.. now i regret everything that has happened.. and i can't change it.. maybe if i diligently attend the Annual Concert every May.. sooner or later i might see you again.. even if i have said all that.. i still have a fear to see you again. i don't want to feel that same feeling of pain again.. 

AFTER ALL THAT... i just made a simple reminder to myself.. i make my life and not whatever that makes up my life make me.. just a failure to understand why i feel like this.. your pain i've felt.. and yes... it is like poison.. 

siiigh make things top of that.. WHY AM I AFFECTED!!!.... nvm.. i guess this should be rather natural... so shall ignore that.. 

arghhh!!... so many things happening today.. irritation, regret, depression?, sad, affected, happy, quiet.. etc etc etc... 

shall just constantly remind myself.. whatever it is.. this must end today and tomorrow shall be start fresh..  Tomorrow 10am H302... 

anyway.. to take things lighter.. went to Paya Lebar after HsingHai.. met chunmei with xueqi.. and i bought a lot of McDonald deserts.. haha. McFlurry and Hot Fudge Sundae.. then while the girls went to the Ladies... i took a spin around THIS FASHION.. and cool.. i found some shirts i saw at Bugis Village that i wanted to buy but doubt it.. cos it was like $10-$15 each.. BUT i found today at THIS FASHION and its only $6-$8 with a 20% discount along with it.. totally WTF!!.. i bought the PUMA parody shirt.. TUNA.. hahaha.. $5.. saw COMA.. but well didn't want to look like Jeremy.. haha.. after all we were somehow coincidently wearing similar tones/colors of sets of cloths especially to GECO.. school is starting tomorrow.. wondering what to wear.. haven't bought my new pair of shoes yet.. gotta go back to West Mall to find em.. and rather insecure of time tomorrow.. since i have no timetable.. 

the most ironic part (=

those who are sad.. lets not be sad and cheer up.. tomorrow will be better

those who are irritated.. cool down and you'll see the world gets lighter..

those who are happy.. good for you... keep it up.. 

those who are emo.. don't consider slashing.. 

those who are depressed.. look at things from another angle.. it might feel easier..

those who are angry.. all things happen for a reason.. look at it in a better light it'll help.. 

those who are tired.. go sleep.. and i mean NOW.. 

those who are sick... Wish you get well soon.. positive energy kills viruses.. >.<

those who are 失恋.. don't think too much.. just keep moving.. you'll discover why

ok i'm now dead tired.. i need a good rest.. if you're reading this at this Unearthly hour it has been posted.. 12.17am.. GO TO SLEEP..  because i believe you're Tired.. 

sleep Zzz