Thursday, October 2, 2008
Voiding the feelings of the unnatural
Monday had last minute notice that Rhythm Ensemble was canceled cos Andy was sick.. so went to watch Boys over Flowers FINAL yay finally see the show to its end.. Tsukasa and Makino got married.. although i still would rather watch it if it was Hanazawa Rui and Makino.. haha.. Oguri Shun.. woo.. haa.. i saw him... on the Movie Screen that is.. haha its like Yaaaayy..!! he is acting as Hanazawa Rui my favourite Character again.. haha so satisfied paying that $6.. i feel like watching again.. hahaTuesday had no school cos College close at 1pm and class starts at 1pm.. so stayed home and do my regular routine.. then in the evening went to NAFA to watch concert.. haha hmm been quite a long time since i saw Jeremy.. haha (although i rmb last seeing him erm.. a few weeks back for lesson lol).. then saw YiQing performing on stage.. haha.. ok la.. all very long never contact liao.. then went to eat roti prata with Xueqi and her mum.. haha.. "THANKS AUNTIE for the meal.. Arigato Gozaimasu"
Wednesday, Hari Raya Puasa cum Children's Day.. of cos i celebrate neither.. so as usual.. the normal routine.. had lesson.. wasn't good and i know it from everywhere of myself.. time running out.. i must really you know.. even if cannot must force something out of it even if i just breakdown from practicing even though i can't make it..
Today, went back to school.. overslept thought was gonna be marked late for Aural.. to my surprise teacher thought this week no school.. Zzzz.. so i rot in the library till noon then went LJS to eat.. then went back to find some of my classmates on the Green.. so sat with them and chat.. haha got a classmate asking me a lot of questions, questions about Art in singapore and about my research and my thinking on Dance.. heh heh.. creative workshop i don't think anyone will wanna use my concept of timelessness.. simply agonising torture.. imagine living forever and you see the clock repeating its cycle for eternity and you live through eras and ages.. how much pain you have to bear if you are constantly hurt everytime.. Displayed my Essay Plan to Felix today, he was happy with it in a way.. said i was good at least i know what i want to get and what i am aiming towards.. i very scared i do wrongly then screw up my whole thing.. haa
ARghhh.. so stress.. (actually not really) but its just that sorta feeling.. i dunno izit because competition is coming or i'm just facing things that i don't want to face so commonly... as usual i will keep my silence.. after all, its better to be nobody than a sore thumb sticking right out.. hee hee thanks to all who wished my luck for Balloting Day.. haha i so drama..
can't explain why i somehow just break down and flood sometimes.. a feeling that when i recite it in my head just makes me feel so worthless and stupid.. perhaps maybe i take certain things too deeply or too seriously thats why i'm prone to this.. its so true that it is easier to be with those who have been with you for years than others.. at least its more comfortable because there is a mutual understanding.. i dun even know whats up with me.. maybe i got so high recently was because i've been stoning for 10months and wallowing in retardedness doing retarded things and planning retarded things.. which totally makes me wanna stab myself..
What are tears and emotions.. why do they occur when u least expect it.. am i that frail?.. mere words and experiences can shatter.. its become some issue on me arghh... gotta wash it off... i need to focus now.. at least for the next 12/13 weeks i must FOCUS...
Jiayou WeiJie you can do it... or at least you must.. haa
