Monday, October 27, 2008
when will my time be up?
Disclaimer: What you read might deprove your chinese.
已经三年了。 我还却无法忘记那几天。三年后，你的影子还深深的在我脑海里。
沉默了好几天，已为能忍就忍，但一看到了那熟悉的照片而让我突然掉眼泪。可能
是我这个月第二次哭的那么残。想找随个人谈话，让我比自己想别的事，但没人在。
最后，就哭到睡为止。
单独时，心情很乱，也很差。随时都能不知不觉的掉眼泪。眼泪温热了我的脸，感
觉的确有痛。
why is it things are showing signs of repeat when there was no intention nor motive.. it always seems to be my fault.. anything and everything that has left an impression on me somehow all seems to be my fault.. everything is just starting to fall back again, and this feeling is freaking pathetic.. i don't need more, true enough i've never really settled anything i've only placed them aside and not think about them..
ironic is just everything i say,do,think.. i hate going on like this.. everyday anything bad happens to my surroundings it always ends up me blaming myself.. because i'm imperfect because i'm stupid because i'm a loner who has depended on people too much? i keep everything in because i didn't want to be seen as pathetic, all the past, present and future. i didn't want to be to known as who i used to be.. dependant, irritating, possesive, obssesive and pathetic. i don't blame life being unfair to me, cos i'm definite there are others far worst off than me.. i don't need people to understand why i think differently.. i'm just ironic and i know it myself.. i even freaking lie to myself at times..
i don't want to say anymore.. as useless as i am.. i'm going to leave all this here today, and move on to tomorrow.. the next day still comes, time doesn't wait for mistakes and regrets. i can only deeply say to everyone and anyone i've made a misunderstanding with or hurt or annoyed, i'm sorry.
i don't want to pursue today any furthur..
Good Nite..
Posted by wJ at 11:13 PM